... Funnies

• Homer Simpson Euro Coin

A one euro coin has turned up in Spain bearing the face of cartoon couch potato Homer Simpson instead of that of the country's king.Spanish sweetshop owner Jose Martinez was counting the cash in his till in the city of Aviles when he came across the coin where Homer's bald head, big eyes and big nose had replaced the serious features of King Juan Carlos. 'The coin must have been done by a professional, the work is impressive,' he said. The comical carver had not taken his tools to the othe [...]

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• Irish Humour.

 A married Irishman went into the  confessional and said to his priest, “I almost had an affair with  another woman.” The priest said, “What do you mean,  almost?” The Irishman said, “Well, we got undressed and rubbed  together, but then I stopped.”  The priest said, “Rubbing  together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman  again. [...]

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• Symptoms of being over 25

SYMPTOMS OF BEING OVER 25 1. You leave clubs before the end to ‘beat the rush’. (worse still you don’t go to the clubs) 2. You get more excited about having a roast on a Sunday than going clubbing the night before. 3. You stop dreaming of becoming a professional footballer and start dreaming of having a son [...]

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• Keith on mans logic

I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend this morning who called ‘out-of-the-blue’ to see if I was still around. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together. I couldn’t believe it when she asked if I’d be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that ‘old magic’. [...]

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• Homer Simpsons funniest quotes…

Operator! Give me the number for 911! Oh, so they have internet on computers now! Bart, with $10,000, we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love! Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand. I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me Superman. Son, if you really want [...]

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• Lee’s Thoughts…

If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do? If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of? If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? If you can’t drink and drive, [...]

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• Jokes

Old man went to see the Doctor..he asks for some Viagra but specifies that he only needs a quarter at a time.. Doctor replies ” why on earth would you only take a quarter, it just wouldn’t work” Old man replies ” it will!!!! I just need it to rise a bit so I won’t keep pissing on [...]

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• So you’ve been drinking again…

An Irishman’s been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally says that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He tries to stand one more time, same result. He figures he’ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober [...]

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• Matrimonial advice from a considerate husband..

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there’s nothing worse than an oversensitive woman. My name is Jeff. Let me relate how [...]

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• Some Irish History….

I thought since St Patricks Day is on its way I would grace you all with a bit of Irish History My sis recently got into numerous debates and some turn out to be pretty heavy arguments about facts and truths of Irish history& facts One boring Sunday afternoon she decided to take a trip to [...]

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• Irish Leaving certs haha

NORTHSIDE LEAVING CERTMATHS TEST FOR SECONDARY SCHOOLS IN THE NORTHSIDE OF DUBLIN NAME _________________________ NICK-NAME ____________________ GANG NAME ____________________ 1. Deco has 0.5 kilos of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Vinno for 300 Euro and 90 grams to Tomo for 90 Euro a gram,what is the street value of the rest of his hold? 3. Whacker wants to [...]

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• Things to do in an elevator……

1)When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn’t you.(2)Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.(3)Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones. (4)Call the Psychic Hot-line from your mobile [...]

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• These are hillarious

THESE ARE ACTUAL LETTERS WRITTEN BY PARENTS EXCUSING THEIR CHILDREN FROM SCHOOL HAHA Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot.” “Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.” “Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.” “Please excuse Roland from P.E. [...]

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